Internet Dating and Safety: Check it out before you check in

I worry about any woman who meets a man online, then books tickets and goes flying off to wherever he lives to meet him. Or even have him fly in to meet her.

It’s well known that the Internet lets you be whoever you want to be, and although once you have been chatting online for a while you certainly FEEL you know the other person… yet the question still remains: do you really know this person?

It’s not hard to manipulate an online dating questionnaire if that is your intention.  And it’s not too hard to represent yourself as anyone you really want to, over the internet, by email, on the phone etc.  It’s in person when the real person starts to show through .. and not even immediately even then, if the person concerned is deliberately acting a part.laptoplady

In this article I will look at personality traits that can be easily identified from handwriting which can be dangerous.

Is s/he really who they say they are?

There is one way to find out ahead of time, but in this world of electronic communication, may take a little bit of ingenuity on your part.

It is Handwriting Analysis.

If you can get a sample of his/her writing, you can know who they are as a person, what dangers or delights await you upon a closer relationship. Further down I’ll talk about how to get the writing in the first place, but for now, let’s look at what his/her writing can tell you.

1. One thing most people want to know right away is: Is this person honest?


For this you look at the circle letters (a, o, and circle parts of g and d.) A “clean” circle. As shown in the first “o” in the illustration above, is honesty. A clean circle is one with no loops, hooks or other stuff inside the circle.

There are various things that can appear in the circles, too many to go into here, but if loops on both the left and right sides of the circles appear repeatedly, (I repeat: it has be appear repeatedly) circle letter after circle letter, this is an indication of intentional deceit.  The three letters on the right of the sample above all show intentional deceit.

2. Another thing you might want to know pretty soon is: Does this person have a violent temper?

There are a couple of things to look for here, even just as a casual scrutiny. A t-bar to the right of the t-stem is temper, see the first letter in the illustration below.

The farther to the right and the heavier it is, the more the temper. See the middle letter of the below example.  One t-bar to the right does not a violent person make.  However, continuous t-bars off to the right means this writer definitely has a temper.

Add to that if it is down-slanting, indicating a desire to take control, and if the writing as a whole is heavy and slants strongly to the right showing strong expression of emotion, you have someone who will not only get mad, but will express how s/he feels to the extreme, while endeavoring to take control. This is shown in the last “t” below.

This could be a safely issue.


3. Jealousy can be a major hitch to relationships and shows in a tightly knotted loop where the pen first touches the paper.


4. Then there is the trait of Aggressiveness, which shows in the lower extender (the line below the baseline.) This would normally curve to the left then back to the right, unless it’s a lower case “q”.  Do not include “q” in your evaluation of aggressiveness.  However if the loops of j,y and g make this aggressive swing towards the right, then the writer is indeed aggressive.


There are just a few of things to look out for, but as you can gather, there is a great deal more that you can find out from writing. In fact, you can find out the entire character and personal qualities of the writer.

5. Deep feeling shows in very heavy writing. By the time it gets to being so heavy it blotchy or corrugated in appearance, extreme depth of feeling has become Dangerous Sensuality.  This illegible example shows corrugated strokes because the pen was pressing so heavily on the paper that smooth flow was impossible.

This is always a danger sign.  If you combine it with the traits mentioned above, it could well become a liability.


6. Add the all of the above, very far right slanted writing, even farther slanting to the right than the example above, and you have someone who will be Very Expressive whatever they are feeling.

The far right slant is a not safety issue in itself, or even a negative, but when combined with the negative traits mentioned previously it can add to the danger by making things more easily inflamed and expressed.

So if you online date … or even if you date, but not online… it is so very, very worth your while to find a way to see the writing of your date for safety reasons.

The question becomes: how to get the writing in the first place?

Well, that depends on how well you think the idea of analyzing both of your writing for compatibility would be received.

If you think this would be agreeable to your Internet Date, then go for it. Just ask for a writing sample and get both of your writings together and either analyze it yourself from a book, or have it done professionally. It’s one of the best ways to understand each other and promote a great relationship.

In the event your Internet Date is hesitant about sending you a sample of their handwriting, one of the ways you could obtain a sample is to indicate how much you enjoy receiving actual holiday, sentimental or fun cards as opposed to an electronic one.  Or send them a card, and hope for reciprocation.

I understand there may be issues around giving out your home address, but I’m sure with some ingenuity most people can find a way around that.

It may seem awkward, and indeed I wish I could think of an easier way to get a writing sample for Internet Daters, but I also believe whole heartedly that it is worth the effort to keep you safe. It can also save you from a pretty miserable weekend with the wrong person, even if there was no danger implied, but my concern is more for safety.

If you are already meeting in person, you may want to bring into the conversation that you were reading an article on handwriting analysis. Write a sentence or two of your own writing and mention some things you found – positives (a great way to make sure s/he knows your best points!!)  The chances are your date will then get into the conversation and start writing out something for you to discuss what you see in his or her writing.

If you meet, or have already met this person it doesn’t mean you will immediately see in their behavior what their writing shows. After all, someone either dishonest or with a violent temper is unlikely to put much effort into revealing that to you. On the contrary, they probably will put a great deal of effort into NOT revealing it to you, and you may not find out for quite a while. But eventually, good or bad, it will show through.

But if it is part of their personality it will show up sooner or later – why not find out about it sooner?

The up side of this is that if you are right for each other, this will show too, and you will know that going ahead is a great idea, and that you have terrific potential as a couple – information that can carry you through the separation that online dating inevitably involves.

There are so many positive things to look for in handwriting.  Wonderful people and compatibility show up so clearly.  But this article is about safety and taking care when dating and so has for that reason focused on what to watch out for.

So check ‘em out, then get on with enjoying your new relationship.

I wish you good luck with your online date and I encourage you once again to “get it in writing!”

For more on relationship compatibility from handwriting considerThe Relationship Checker”

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